Republicans… or the Mafia?

Some of the real beltways geeks among us may remember that a few years ago, when the DCCC finally figured out all the shennanigans that Tom Delay was pulling in his home state of Texas, they sued him under the RICO statute.

For those of you who don’t know, RICO is abbreviation for Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations act. We know, we know, it just sounds like the name of a gangster, right: Rico. Turns out it actually means something.

Now we’ll grant that the RICO charges didn’t go anywhere against Delay. Indeed, a few Democrats and lots of liberal op-ed pages scolded the DCCC for suing Delay under RICO. But at the end of the day, the DCCC really had the Delay thing figured out. And a lot of the stuff they sued him for under RICO a few years back is the same stuff that’s going to put his associates (and quite possibly DeLay himself) in the slammer before too long. Bob Bauer explains the D triple C’s reasoning:

DCCC had devoted some care to an examination of DeLay’s modus operandi, but much of what it found was easily available through a review of the daily and periodical press. In these press accounts—confirmed by other sources—could be found all the elements of behavior fairly addressed, for want of feasible alternatives, by a racketeering suit. The extortionate behavior of “K Street Project” notoriety, now so furiously condemned in the call for reform; the use of various shells to move money around without disclosure for various political and other purposes; the questionable associates and associations by which Mr. DeLay and his associates effected and directed this scheme.

Right. And that’s still what we’re working on now. And of course, now we’ve got Jack Abramoff talking to the feds and a few more years of muckraking reporters exposing the various and nefarious schemes under our belts. But the essentials are all the same: DeLay and Abramoff et al had this big GOP slush fund that they hid by laundering and hiding money in all these organizations. They used it to pimp themselves out but also to pay for power. Sounds to us like RICO isn’t so out of line.

But we’re not lawyers, so we’re not going to take a firm stance on whether or not RICO was the right way to go after DeLay. More importantly is the fact that, from a Republicans… or the Mafia? perspective, it was definitely the funniest way to go after him. After all, who else gets sued under RICO? Why, gangsters, of course!

Most recently, notable fictional gangster Junior Soprano was sued under the RICO act. The RICO trial hung over his head for quite awhile, forcing Tony to take the reigns as “street boss” of the family. That took some heat off of Junior, though he still got a piece of all the business. Kind of like the arrangement Delay had with Roy Blunt (R-MO) when Delay was indicted last September.

Junior got off the hook in the end. Tony threatened a juror and so they wound up with a hung jury and a mistrial. DeLay should only be so lucky.

In either case, we take our hats off to fellow Italian and mob boss Corrado “Junior” Soprano. In getting sued under RICO, he’s in powerful company. Cento anni salute, Uncle Joon!

You’re probably seeing a lot of headlines these days about how badly the Republicans are botching their Medicare prescription drug benefit, passed in 2004 as an example of the kinds of new, “business-friendly” entitlement programs they were going to pass now that they were firmly in control of Washington, D.C. Many Republicans, still trying to pretend they were “fiscal conservatives,” balked at the $400 Billion cost of the bill, so Tom DeLay had to resort to some pretty shady tactics to get the votes he needed.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. First, we must go back to 1999.

That year, season two of The Sopranos aired, just at the peak of the dot-com boom and associated stock bubble. Being the wonderfully timely show that it is, Episode 14, “A Guy Walks in to a Psychiatrist’s Office,” features a subplot where the family, led by Chris Moltesanti tries to get in on the dot-com action by pushing the stock of a phony tech company, Webistics, on unsuspecting retirees. They open a stock brokerage and start pressuring the clients and the brokers to sell Webistics. But sometimes the brokers didn’t exactly fall in line:

The company’s Webistics. It’s the next Yahoo right now. We’re really only selling it to preferred clients. (Broker) yeah, American forestry, 19 and 1/2, up 3/8s, a very sound company. Uh-huh. (Broker) well, it depends on whether you wanna go for growth or value. We got hundreds of mutual funds you can choose from. Ahh! You’re supposed to push webistics! I was giving them alternatives. Webistics is our pick of the week. Why, it’s got a three million float, and their technology’s two years behind. Your stock’s a dog. Ahh! Hey, stop that! Hey, I’m still the manager here, this is unacceptable. Where’s Moltisanti? I’m gonna make a call if you don’t think i know who really runs this operation. Get back in your fuckin’ office. Anybody else got a problem with Webistics?

So they beat the crap out of them.

In trying to get votes for the Medicare bill, DeLay went out on the floor (after holding the vote open way longer than is customarily allowed by house rules) and approached Rep. Nick Smith (R-Mich.). Rep. Smith was against the bill. DeLay promised him it would “only” cost $400B over 10 years, even though that number was artificially low (the plan wouldn’t even kick in until 2006, so that 10 years included 2 years when the plan wasn’t even going to be in effect!). In fact, the White House knew the number was far higher, but they kept it under their hat so that DeLay could get the votes.

Anyway, DeLay’s scrounging for votes, and so he and Duke Cunningham pay a visit to Rep Smith:

Horse-trading is a nice word for it. Vote buying is more accurate, and it doesn’t get any more blatant that this: Tom DeLay makes his final offer, promising to “personally endorse” Smith’s son Brad in the upcoming primary race to succeed Smith — if Smith will change his vote to Yea on the Medicare bill. Anyone who knows Tom DeLay knows his “personal endorsement” is worth a lot of campaign cash. When Nick Smith would not sell his vote on the Medicare bill, Representative Randy “Duke” Cunningham, Republican of California, walked up to Smith on the floor of the House chamber, waved money at him in the form of either a wallet or a checkbook, saying “We’ve got $10,000 … to make sure your son does not get elected.”

The point is, like Webistics, the Drug Benefit was a scam. Karl Rove was trying to buy off the senior citizen vote, and Medicare was the way to do it. No one cared whether the “stock was a dog.” It didn’t matter if the plan actually worked, or actually helped senior citizens. What was important was that the call went out from the senior leadership that they should push the Medicare Drug Bill, and so they pushed it, and pushed it hard.

Is it any wonder the actual plan ended up being such an utter catastrophe?

This what happens when you put thugs in charge of policy.

So yesterday, Josh Marshall reported that Reflections Photography, the company that handles photography for the White House, had erased photos of Jack Abramoff and President Bush from their website. 

He talked to the company president and found out that not only had the photos been deleted from the web, but that she’d been deleting the photos from the master discs! Sounds like they’re flushing all the evidence before the public gets to it…

It’s kinda like the end of Goodfellas, when Henry gets busted by the feds on his way out of the house. You remember?

For a second I thought I was dead. But, when I heard all the noise, I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. If they’d been wiseguys, I wouldn’t have heard a thing. I would’ve been dead. 

Karen obviously heard all the racket, because in the next scene she’s frantically cutting up bags of cocaine and flushing them down their toilet. 

I wonder if Jack’s wife started shredding all the pictures of Abramoff with the president when the scandal broke. Those pictures, of course, are the kind of thing that gave a guy like Abramoff power– by way of credibility– in the first place. And he knew it.

He and Grover Norquist set up photos with the president for their Native American clients (at $25k a peice) for the same reason. In one case, Jack told one of his clients, who was running for an elected position in the tribe, that a picture with the president would go a long way toward bolstering his credibility with his people.

I laugh when I think about Abramoff’s wife, Pamela, shredding Jack’s pictures with the president– the pictures that proved Jack was somebody– and Jack getting home and flipping out, just like Henry Hill did when Karen flushed all the coke. Maybe they’d have a similar exchange:

Jack: Where’s the stuff, Pamela?

Pam: I shredded it. 

Jack: You What? Why did you do that Pamela?

Pam: They would’ve found it. 

Jack: That was worth sixty thousand dollars Pam. We needed that. We were dependent on that! That’s all we got!

Pam: They would have found it!

Jack: They would never have found it! That was all we had Pamela…

Just when we thought things couldn’t get any more gangster, the GOP has started to destroy evidence. What are the chances that Abramoff winds up whacked? Anyone?

Time magazine reported this week that there are pictures floating around of Jack Abramoff and President George W. Bush together. They didn’t release the pictures, because their source wouldn’t give them up. But they did see the photos up close.

That touched off a bunch of speculation that the pics were held back because the source was shopping them around to the highest bidder, whether it be the White House or the tabloids.

Last night on MSNBC, Newsweek’s Michael Isikoff suggested that the source of the photos is Jack Abramoff himself, and that he’s using them to keep the White House in line!

But it does raise a question in my mind at least as to whether Abramoff is maybe sort of sending some sort of signal out here: “Hey, I’ve got this stuff.” Maybe he wants something from somebody at the White House, or he wants someone at the White House not to do something, and just sort of subtly playing with people here.

Brilliant! Don’t mess with Jack Abramoff– he’s too good at this game. We at ROTM would love to see the Karl Rove-Jack Abramoff Evil Genius Political Smackdown. Hell, we’d probably buy that on Pay Per View.

But the blackmail-with-pictures game reminds us of one of the least mob-movie-like mob movies of all time: The Firm. You don’t consider it a mob movie, because it’s Grisham, and there’s nobody talking in funny New York-ese accents. But that’s just because it’s set in the south. The Firm is actually a mafia-subsidiary.

And they pull a similar move on the unwitting Mitch McDeere, if you’ll recall. They secretly take pictures of him cheating on his wife and then use the pictures to shut him up when he threatens to go states-evidence against the Firm. The unforgettable threat of Bill Devasher, played by unlikely gangster and erstwhile oat-enthusiast Wilford Brimley:

Not just screwing, Mitch. All sorts of intimate acts… that can be particularly hard for a trusting wife to forgive and impossible to forget.

I don’t think the Abramoff-Bush pictures show anything like that. But they do show the president shaking hands with an admitted felon.

We’ve got to hand it to Jack for playing this kind of hardball with the White House. Makes us wonder if his law firm, Greenberg Traurig, was the basis for the movie. (note to self: should we consider purchasing the url http://www.lawyers…orthemafia.com/? franchise anyone?)

Of course, Bill DeVasher’s threat is less potent in this situation– our trusting nation will most likely forgive and, if not, we’ll certainly forget.

Ok, so Bruno said we were only going to use this scene sparingly, because it’s too darn easy. And I agree. But this one’s just a huge motzah ball hanging out there and I need to take a swing at it. 

When Senator Geary was getting ready to sneak out of Michael Corleone’s hearing, he put a statement in the Congressional Record praising Italian Americans, an obvious and cheap attempt to curry favor with Corleone, to whom he was in debt:

“Italian Americans are the hardest working, most law abiding patriotic Americans of our country. It is a shame and a pity that a few rotten apples give them a bad name.”

As an Italian-American, I can’t help but agree.  Now check out the statement that an actual Congressman, Bob Ney (R-OH), put in the congressional record in praise of an actual criminal, Adam Kidan:

“Since my previous statement, I have come to learn that SunCruz Casino now finds itself under new ownership and, more importantly, that its new owner has a renowned reputation for honesty and integrity. The new owner, Mr. Adam Kidan, is most well known for his successful enterprise, Dial-a-Mattress, but he is also well known as a solid individual and a respected member of his community.”

Hmmm…

That’s kind of a funny thing to say, isn’t it?  Funnier still since SunCruz and Adam Kidan were all the way down in Florida and Ney represents Ohio.

So let’s unpack it: Adam Kidan had just recently purchased SunCruz with none other than the Don himself, disgraced GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff, as well as former Reagan administration official Ben Waldman.

Kidan and SunCruz’s former owner, Gus Boulis, were feuding about the way SunCruz should be run. Boulis threatened to tell authorities about a bunch of the questionable tactics that had been employed during the SunCruz purchase, including phony wire transfers, and so Abramoff pulled out the political muscle to shut him up.

Casino Jack got in touch with his old pal and lobbying partner Michael Scanlon and asked him “Would 10K for NRCC from Suncruz for Ney help?” Scanlon said it sure would. So SunCruz, under the direction of Kidan and Abramoff, wrote a check to the NRCC (National Republican Campaign Committee) and gave Ney credit for raising the cash. That put Ney in very good favor with the GOP big boys.

And then Voila! Six days after the check from SunCruz, Kidan gets an on-the-record pat on the back from a real live Congressman, Bob Ney!

You’ve got to wonder if Ney knew what kind of guy Kidan was at the time or if he’ll just do anything for 10 grand. Kidan has had close associations with organized crime throughout his life: his mother was killed by members of the Bonnano family and one of his earliest associates in business was Michael Cavallo, identified by New York police as a member of the mafia. He also had three gangsters on his payroll who, coincidentally, assassinated Boulis in February 2001.

Now, Corleone had Geary in his pocket for other reasons, of course. He’d set it up so that Geary thought he killed a hooker and Michael came to his rescue. Ney did it for, arguably, a much lamer reason: $10,000 bucks. 

Either way, Rep. Ney: For having the out and out gall to flagrantly accept cash in exchange for official acts, we at ROTM salute you. Shennanigans like these make our job easy.

Welcome Washington Monthly and Slog readers!

We’re talking about the GOP Mafia and much, much more on this week’s installment of Bruno and the Professor. Do check it out.

Earlier we referenced the famous Senate hearings scene from Godfather Part II, where Michael Corleone. We’ll try not to reference this scene too much on this site because, well, frankly it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Nevertheless, it’s a classic. You’ll remember that Michael Corelone was just about to be indicted for perjury (see GOP aide Scooter Libby for more on this subject. Better yet, see him in 5 to 10 years) when the government’s star witness, Frankie Pentangeli (a.k.a. “Frankie Five Angels”) has a change of heart:

QUESTADT: Mr. PENTANGELI you are contradicting a sworn statement that you previously made to me and signed. I ask you again sir — you are now under oath — were you at any time a member of a crime organization — headed by MICHAEL Corleone.

PENTANGELI: I don’t know nothin’ about that.. Oh — I was in the Olive Oil business with his father but that was a long time ago that’s all.

CHAIRMAN: We have a sworn affidavit — we have it — your sworn affidavit that you murdered on the orders of MICHAEL Corleone. Do you deny that confession, and do you realize what will happen as a result of your denial.

PENTANGELI: Look the FBI guys promised me a deal. So I made up a lot of stuff about MICHAEL Corleone ’cause that’s what they wanted — but it was all lies — uh — everything. And I kept saying — MICHAEL Corleone did this and MICHAEL Corleone did that — .uh — so I said yea sure, why not.

So what does this scene remind us of? That’s right, Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santoroum (R)! This week Santorum pulled a “Five Angels” and flatly denied any existence of the notorious K Street Project:

“The K Street project is purely to make sure we have qualified applicants for positions that are in town. From my perspective, it’s a good government thing.”

– Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), quoted by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, November 15, 2005.

“Well, I don’t know what you mean by Senate liaison to the, quote, ‘K Street Project.’ I’m not aware of any Senate liaison job that I do for the K Street Project.”

– Santorum, quoted by Talking Points Memo, at a press conference earlier today.

Santorum continued, “Grover who? Jack Abbrawhat? Look, some lobbyists told me they’d help me get re-elected if I got some cronies jobs in lobbying firms.”

You see, Ricky’s running for re-election this year. And the man is a whole-hog part of the GOP-lobbying-industrial complex. And he knows that Pennsylvania’s swing-state-minded voters are running out of patience for this ugly system of kickbacks and payoffs that passes for American politics these days. So he’s pulling a Pentangeli and conveniently “forgetting” what all he had to do with these thugs. But you can’t put lipstick on a pig, Senator. That is, unless you want to, you know, do a little bit of this.

Was it “all lies,” Ricky Five Angels? Pennsylvania voters want to know.

Sen. Harry Reid got on board with the Republicans… or the Mafia agenda last week with an op-ed in the Houston Chronicle:

My term on the gaming commission came to an end in 1981, and when it did, I thought I had seen such corruption for the last time. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. It is not quite the mafia of Las Vegas in the 1970s, but what is happening today in Washington is every bit as corrupt and the consequences for our country have been severe.

Our nation’s capital has been overrun by organized crime — Tom DeLay-style.

The gangsters are the lobbyists, cronies and lawmakers who have banded together and abused their power to serve their own self-interest. The casinos are the Capitol, which has had its doors thrown open for special interests to waltz in and help themselves, and the victims, of course, are the American people.

Right. And to extend the analogy a bit further, a good politician would take all the free smokes and booze and refrain from gambling. That’s the way to beat the house. And avoid the buffets. They’re not worth it.

And while we’re talking mobbed-up casinos and the GOP, it’s probably worth noting that there is an uncanny resemblance between Nicky Santoro in Casino and Tommy “The Hammer” Delay.

They both had roughly the same job, too. Here’s how Nicky describes his purpose:

Thats why The Bosses sent me out here- they wanted me to make sure none of the other crews robbed the joint. Like these two f***** ballonheads over here. They were gonna try to bang us outta two hundred f***** grand? Yeah, right, I’m sure.

And this is Wikipedia on Delay:

As Majority Whip, DeLay earned the nickname “The Hammer” for his enforcement of party discipline in close votes and his reputation for wreaking political vengeance on opponents. DeLay has expressed a like for his nickname, pointing out that the hammer is one of a carpenter’s most valuable tools.

Of course, Nicky preferred a vise.

Ok, so there’s a difference in degree. But not in kind. They’re both the Enforcers. And here’s a piece of trivia that couldn’t be more relevant: Does anyone remember the tagline from the original Casino trailers?

“No one stays at the top forever.”

Hehe. We couldn’t have said it better.

A few days ago, as Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH) was being chased out of his leadership post by nervous Republicans, Josh Marshall threw a cue to ROTM:

As a side note, let’s observe that it sure ain’t pretty when the members of a gang decide to take out one of their own, is it? Cue your favorite analogous scene from Mob cinema or The Sopranos.

Great point, Josh. We’ll take it from here!

Do you remember Jimmy Conway, the “half mick half guinea” goodfella played so convincingly by Robert DeNiro in Scorsese’s 1990 classic about the rise and fall of mob culture? Sure you do:

Jimmy: I’m not mad, I’m proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learn two great things in your life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.

That line always bugged me, because it seems like one lesson, not two. This one’s a little less–er, headdy:

Jimmy: Tommy, you gonna let him get away with that? You gonna let this f***ing punk get away with that? What’s the matter? What’s the world coming to?

Ahhh yes. A classic. Just before Tommy puts six holes in Spider’s chest.

In any case, now that we know who we’re talking about, it’s worth pointing out that the GOP going after Rep. Bobby “The Dupe” Ney reminds us a bit of that classic scene in Goodfellas when Jimmy Conway takes out everyone involved with him in the Lufthansa heist. You remember that scene?

The piano outro to Layla, Eric Clapton’s epic 1970 rocker, is the musical backdrop for this great moment in film history. Henry explains in the voiceover:

Jimmy was cutting every link between himself and the robbery. But it had nothing to do with me. I gave Jimmy the tip and he gave me some Christmas money…

Right. Jimmy thought he’d have better luck dodging the feds if he simply got rid of everyone who had helped him committ the crime. Angelo winds up in the freezer truck, Maury dies in his brand new Caddy (”it’s in my wife’s name!”) when they jam an awl into the back of his head, etc.

Denny Hastert seems to be pulling the same move. If he whacks Ney (and by “whack,” of course, we mean “strip him of his post as chairman of the House Administration Committee”) he thinks it’ll help isolate the GOP from the stench of bad deeds. We don’t think it’ll work, but we sincerely appreciate his gangland-style efforts.

If there’s one thread of the Abramoff scandal that really demands attention at this site, it’s the story of Konstantinos “Gus” Boulis, a hard-working and short-tempered Greek immigrant entrepeneur whose gangland-style assassination forces us to admit that Republicans and the Mafia are not mutually exclusive. Indeed, the story of Abramoff and Boulis is not about Republicans or the Mafia– it’s about that very special place where the line blurs and slimy GOP corruption actually overlaps with gangland style crime! A twofer!

Abramoff and a partner of his, Adam Kidan, bought SunCruz Casinos from Boulis under shady circumstances in 2000. Check out the details of the deal here. The long and the short of it is that Kidan and Abramoff didn’t get along with Gus. In fact, two months before Boulis got whacked, he stabbed Kidan with a pen during an altercation in a SunCruz boardroom. You can’t make this stuff up!

In what may have been an act of revenge (it may have been sheer coincidence– we report, you decide) Kidan hired two former Gambino family associates (I’m not joking here) to provide “catering” services as well as security for SunCruz. Those two men, Anthony “Little Tony” Ferrari and Anthony “Big Tony” (still not joking) Moscatiello, were among the three people indicted for the Boulis murder.

Boulis bought it Santino Corleone-style behind the wheel of his car. He wasn’t quite as full of piss and vinegar as Sonny, who got out of the car and rolled around for awhile after being riddled with tommy-gun bullets at the entrance to the Long Beach Causeway. But he was pretty feisty. The pen-stabbing is evidence of that. Further evidence is that after Gus was shot up behind the wheel of his Beemer he managed to drive a few blocks before wrecking into a telephone pole. Our hats are off to him. Sonny would’ve been proud.

The Daily Show gets on board with the ROTM agenda. Last night’s hilarious segment on the Alito confirmation featured a hilarious segment (click on Sam’s Club) on the Alito confirmation. Stewart showed the various Senators fawning over Alito and his Italian-American immigrant background, when suddenly the clip cut to the Corleone hearings from Godfather II, where the Senator who’s on the payroll says:

Let me agree with that. Many of my constituents are Italian and have been honored with that certain friendship by my close Italian friends. Up to this point before I have to leave this hearing to join my own committee, let me say, that this hearing on the Mafia is in no way a slur on the Italians by the Senate; nor is it meant to be; nor will I allow it to be. Italian Americans are the hardest working, most law abiding patriotic Americans of our country. It is a shame and a pity that a few rotten apples give them a bad name.

Watch the clip. It’s great. The bit I’m referring to starts at about 4:30.

As TNR’s Jason Zengerle has noted, Republican Congressman Randy “Duke” Cunningham “pulled a Big Pussy and wore a wire.” Big Pussy was, of course, the Sopranos character who got pinched for dealing heroin early in the show. Cunningham, on the other hand took money and gifts from defense contractors in his district in exchange for throwing government contracts their way. What’s more, he got one of those contractors to buy his San Diego-area house for about twice what it was worth, and the contractor promptly put it on the market for about half as much. But what’s a $700,000 loss when you stand to earn millions in defense appropriations?

All of this is well known. But what you may not know is that both Puss’ and Duke’s demises happened in the vicinity of a suspicious yacht! Puss was taken out for a ride in Tony Soprano’s boat, the Stugatz, where he was shot and dropped in the ocean. Duke’s Don, defense contractor MZM, inc., bought him a boat called the Duke-stir, where he lived on the Potomac river in full view of the Capital.

Even Big Puss wasn’t that brazen. These mafiosos could learn a thing or two from the The Grand Ol’ Party.

Are guys who smile in mug shots more likely to be Republicans or in the Mafia? It’s a great question– one that we’ll be trying to answer here repeatedly in the coming months as we start to see more and more mugshots of Republicans.

Tom Delay looks pretty peachy in this picture. He had reason for that, of course. He’s innocent!

No, seriously, though, folks… Tommy “The Hammer” was smart enough to realize that mugshot in which he looked terrible would get a million times more press than this smiley-faced gem. Imagine the classic mugshot: Unshaven, pinstripes, haven’t-had-coffe-yet look on the face, occasionally shirtless, hair all over the place– that’s a picture that would’ve have legs.

It looks like Gotti was smart enough to realize the same. Unless of course it’s just a matter of vanity, which I’m not ruling out. Although, if Delay was the vanity-type, we would think he’d have done something about that hair.

Last night, we mentioned Jack Abramoff’s attire as evidence that he was a gangster. we stand by that. This picture is further evidence. What’s with these high-power Washington types and double-breasted pinstripes? Is it 1950? Are you in charge of the oldest established permanent floating crap game in New York? Maybe he just wanted to get used to the idea of wearing stripes.

But according to the Washington Post (via Wonkette), he wasn’t even wearing his finest Italian suit in the picture in question.

Apparently, ol’ Jack the uber-lobbyist had a few suits made for him by Italian uber-tailor Eza Sabatini (starting price: $2200). But that was when Jack was fat. He lost 40 pounds last year and so Sabatini had to make him a bunch of new suits. He sold the old ‘Fat Jack’ suits back to Eza. Judging by his size in this pic, we’re guessing we’re looking at a Sabatini special here, but don’t quote us on that.

Then he got fat again. Having your named preceded by “disgraced” (as in “disgraced former lobbyist Jack Abramoff”) every day in the newspapers will drive you to eat. So he demanded the ‘Fat Jack’ suits back from Eza– but refused to pay for them! God, talk about small time crooks. Can you imagine: “Make wit’ da suits, Sabatini, I’m a f*ckin’ 52 long again.” It’s like Fat Tony meets Queer Eye. Sabatini didn’t cave, and so Jack was relegated to wearing some off-the-shelf wanna be gear for his plea hearings. Pity.

You know, Abramoff kinda reminds us of the Dapper Don– John Gotti.

Following his purported ascension to the position of Gambino family godfather, Gotti became known as “The Dapper Don”, appearing in public wearing $2000 hand-tailored Brioni suits and reveling in media attention. Gotti was extremely popular in his Queens neighborhood, where he organized free lavish street parties and festivals, and had a reputation for keeping street crime out.

Yeah, they both wear expensive, hand made Italian suits and give away a bunch of free stuff to maintain popularity in their respective spheres of influence. Gotti did street parties and Abramoff did overseas golf trips, but it’s the same idea.

Ok, so one thing we’re going to have to work out over the course of this project is who are the heads of the families. Bruno can help me out with this and we’ll clarify as we go. We welcome suggestions along the way.

I like Bruno’s bit here on Delay as a Wartime Consigliere. But I think Delay’s more of a Don in his own right.

The way I see it, you’ve got Bush running the show on the executive end– that’s obviously a family in its own right. But Delay has got a separate, if interconnected thing going on in the House– he’s definitely the head of a family– he’s even got a catchy, Don-esque name, “the Hammer.” It’s like “the Chin” or “the Blade.” Then you’ve got Frist in the Senate– but he’s sort of castrated in a lot of ways, and there are “shadow dons” that are soaking up the power vacuum.
Delay, needless to say, is going down. It’s kind of like the last episode of Sopranos Season 5, “All Due Respect,” when Johnny Sac gets busted while Tony is over at his house.
Here’s how the scene is described on HBO’s website:

The two bosses embrace, restoring peace between the families - just in time for FBI agents to arrive. Johnny is chased down and arrested, but Tony escapes through the woods. A safe distance away, he phones his lawyer, Neil Mink, who tells him not to worry, it was a Brooklyn sting operation and Tony wasn’t named on the warrant. “Be of good cheer,” Neil advises. Then Tony hangs up and continues his long walk home.

W is Tony in this scenario– he’s obviously involved: His power was enhanced by Delay’s redistricting scam (it helped guarantee him a friendly House), which, in turn, was greatly benefitted by (if not wholly enabled by) Delay’s money laundering scam, which is the basis of Delay’s indictment and subsequent fall from power. So let’s say that Bush’s Escalade is parked in front of Delay’s house– but it’s not technically illegal for him to be parked there.

The parallels continue if you look deeper. At the moment when Johnny goes down, Tony becomes the most powerful boss in the region, New York included. Similarly, Bush is now the unchallenged over-boss of the Republican Party, since the only other relevant power center, Delay, is out of the picture. Granted, Bush’s power overall is dimished by the taint of scandal in the party, but Tony’s power would be analogously diminished by association with Johnny.

Do we need a don for the judicial branch? And is Abramoff a don in the lobbying sector? He’s certainly got the apparel for it.

But lobbying might be a different gig altogether– after all, lobbyists are about access to power, not power itself.

These questions and more to be answered here at Republicans or the Mafia…

House Republicans are holding elections in an effort to prevent Tom DeLay from returning to his post as House Majority Leader. How the mighty have fallen. This will remind savvy Mafia movie fans of Consigliere Tom Hagen’s removal from power in The Godfather Part I

Cue Nino Rota’s plaintive trumpet melody:

MICHAEL You’re not a wartime Consiglieri, Tom. Things may get rough with the move we’re trying.

VITO Tom — I advise Michael. I never thought you were a bad Consigliere. I thought — Santino was a bad Don, rest in peace. Michael has all my confidence, as - as you do. But uh — there are reasons why you must have no part in what is going to happen.

TOM (to Michael) Maybe I could help…

MICHAEL (curtly) You’re out, Tom.

Of course, the big difference here is that Tom DeLay was very much a wartime consigliere.